Looking For the Light Switch
by Ausllyftw1
Summary: Ally Dawson may look like she's happy. But what if you looked deeper? You might see she's not that happy after all. What will happen when I certain bully finds a certain note? What if they start having certain dreams about a certain person? AU I suck at summaries. Austin and Ally are OC.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one  
_

Dear diary,  
This might not help writing in you,but it might so I'm going to listen to Miss. Johnson and write in it. Miss. Johnson is my therapist. I know, I know, 'she's crazy.'  
Yes I am.  
And I'm trying not to let it bring me down.  
Miss. Johnson told me to vent in here. Talk about my whole life. Well here goes. It started when I was 12. Shut up! It's all I ever heard and still here. Just SHUTUP! The voices in my head, the never be quiet. They never say nice things, though. It's always terrible, horrific stuff. 'You're worthless.'  
'You're ugly.'  
'No one will ever love you.'  
And stuff revolving around that.  
I have one friend, though.  
Elliot.  
My stepbrother, Elliot.  
Elliot is the one who called Miss. Johnson and told her my issues.  
They are the only two who know.  
He's the nicest, most caring, and most like a father I have ever had in my life.  
I have a Daddy, you see, but he's not the nicest person.  
Scratch that.  
He's probably one of the worst.  
He's abusive and aggressive.  
I wake up: slap, punch, kick.  
I get home from school: slap, punch, kick.  
I am about to go to bed: slap, punch, kick.  
Sometimes if I'm really lucky, he'll even push me down the stairs! Hey, a girls gotta make a little bit of light from a terrible situation, right?  
Elliot knows what's going on, but I won't let him say anything.  
Daddy doesn't beat him, because he's his 'pride and joy' or whatever.  
Schools not the worst. I guess.  
People bully me.  
It's better than my old school, though.  
I have a story and a life lesson to teach you guys.  
It you get extreme panic attacks, and are schizophrenic, take your medicine!  
One time, I forgot my medicine before school one day.  
Let's just say it didn't end well.  
I remember being pushed down to the ground and kicked and stepped on.  
Then, I lost it.  
I screamed.  
I screamed and screamed.  
I pulled out my hair and scratched my skin until I bled.  
The last thing I remember seeing was Elliot's face as everything around me faded into blackness.  
My mom, is the best mother you could ask for.  
Penny Dawson.  
Nice.  
Drop dead gorgeous.  
Talented.  
Then there is me.  
Boring, worthless, ugly, fat, Ally Dawson.  
My mom doesn't live with me.  
She lives in Africa, studying wildlife and documenting everything she sees.  
Occasionally, she comes home.  
When she does, Daddy sobers up.  
I wake up: no slap, punch, or kick.  
I get home from school: no slap, punch, or kick,  
I am about to go to bed: no slap, punch, or kick.  
Then she leaves.  
That's always the worst part.  
When she leaves, he 'makes up for the beating he couldn't do while she was here.'  
But, as Dumbledore said, "Theres always light in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."  
Well, diary, I should leave.  
I'm surprised this actually kind of helped.  
Goodnight.  
Looking for the light switch,  
Ally.

After setting my diary underneath my mattress, I went into my bathroom and took a shower.  
As soon as I got into it I washed my hair and body.  
Standing there, I thought.  
I thought about my life, and I fell and crumpled up in my shower, crying.  
No! No!  
I can't let him hear me crying.  
I quickly started to stop crying and turned off the shower.  
Grabbing a towel out of the closet, I wrapped it around my self, and looked at the petite, sad girl in the mirror.  
She was smiling, but you could tell in her eyes that she was broken.  
Broken on the inside and out,  
Her once bright, beautiful brown eyes are now a sickly, dead looking dark grey.  
Pushing these thoughts out of my mind, I dressed myself.  
Once I saw that I looked okay for bed, I walked out of the bathroom, and crawled into my bed going to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Hello little butterflies. It is it ausllyftw1 and am back. I'm sorry it took so long I was having second thoughts and thinking no one liked it. But I did for the two people who reviewed and one who follow and the favorite and views(: but it would be just dandy (tehe) if I could get more reviews? Anyways on to the chapter. I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

I I woke up to a terrible stinging sensation in my cheek and a loud voice screaming at me, "WAKE UP BITCH OR YOU'LL BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!"

My dad left my room and I let out a long, quiet sigh. Looking at the cheap alarm clock by my bed I saw that it was 7:30. "Shit." I said, low enough for only me to hear. I silently scrambling up from the small mattress laying in the corner of my room, and proceeded to walk to my small closet a few feet away. What do I want today? Dress homeless and get bullied more than usual or atleast try to look presentable. I decided I couldn't take more than I usually do, and picked a plain, but pretty, purple v-neck, faded skinny jeans and black converse.

I left my closet and walked to my bathroom. Looking in the mirror, I visible winced at how terrible I looked. A slowly fading but still there, hand print on my cheek, a bruise under my eye, and I noticed I could see more ribs than usual on my petite frame. I grabbed the small makeup bag from under my sink and grabbed the concealer. I tried not to hurt my injuries even more while applying it, and when I saw that I couldn't see the bruise that much, I put it away. I quickly pulled off my pajamas and pulled on my school clothes, trying not to slide my shirt too hard over the healing bruise on my side.  
After hurriedly swallowing my medication and looking at myself in the mirror again,is left the bathroom. I slowly and quietly walked downstairs, grabbed my backpack, tossed a jacket over my shoulder and walked out my house.

To say it was pretty outside was an understatement. There were no clouds in the sky and you could here the small birds singing to each other and not having to worry about anything. I started to walk to the second worse place in the world (aka school) and though about what it would be like if i didn't have to worry about anything. Not about the bullies or how bad my dad was planning on beating me when I got home. I almost smiled, but stopped myself, when I thought about what it would be like to have more than one friend.  
Friends.  
That is a beautiful word. People to care about you. A world where Ally Dawson had friends. It was a world I wish to live in. A world with how people to be mean to you. A world without my dad. Just me, my mom, and Elliot. I could imagine that it would never rain. The sun would be shingling all the time, and there would be a slight breeze running through my long ombre hair. A world with music everywhere. Yeah, that's where I want to live.

I got interrupted by my wishful thinking when I saw a place I didn't want to see. School. The word is just terrible. I like learning, but I wish I could do it alone. No teachers. Except Miss. Parker. No students, except Elliot. My imaginary world is going to have a school like that in it. I just hope, that i won't visit it today. If I did, that would mean my schizophrenia is getting worse. My therapist says it's getting better, but it does not feel like it  
I walked up the steps and through the front doors of Marino High. As soon as the doors opened everyone's eyes were on me. I kept my eyes to the ground because I knew good and well if I looked up I would have a panic attack. I have stage fright you see.  
I continued to silently walk to my locker. Silently thanking God when I arrived at my locker, I put in my combination and grabbed my physics test book,pencils,and a lot of paper. Isn't it great having physics first period on a Monday morning? (Sarcasm intended.) I turned around and tried walking to physics. When I was about halfway there, a foot "accidentally" found its way in front of my path, and I tripped and fell, everything in my arms flying everywhere. 'Great,' I whispered under my breath.  
I risked a glance at the culprit behind me tripping and I wasn't surprised at who it was.  
Austin Moon. Shocker.  
Austin hates me.

I continued to silently pick up my papers, until the bell rang.  
'You're already late, you stupid good for nothing Ally Dawson.'  
No. Get out of my head!  
I let out a sigh of relief when she finally left my head for now.  
After standing up, grabbing my stuff for class, and straightening my outfit, I walked to physics.

I was at least ten minutes late, but the good thing was, I had Miss. Parker first period and she let me off the hook. I mouthed a thank you to her and continued to walk to the empty seat in the back of the class. It's as rickety and old, but at least no one sat by me.

"Well class," Miss. Parker said, interrupting my thoughts, "I decided to give you a project to do."

I wrote down what she said the project was about when I heard the words that were to haunt me for a while.

"Here are your partners. Dez and Trish. Dallas and Cassidy. Kira and Elliot..." I couldn't listen any more.

No. No. No. I let my eyes drift closed while I tried to calm myself down.  
'Its okay Ally. Be strong. Be strong for your mom. For Elliot. I opened my eyes to find the whole class staring at me. Most of them confused. Miss. Parker's were optimistic. I looked around at the people staring at me, refusing to look them in the eyes. I looked at them until I landed on the infamous Austin Moon. I risked locking eyes with him and I noticed that he wasn't confused. He was mad. He glared at me. I'm pretty sure if looks could kill I would be dead.

"Are you okay Miss. Dawson?" Miss. Parker said, "You seem to not have heard what I just said."

I nodded. That was a lie.

"What I said was, 'Austin Moon and Ally Dawson.'"

NO!

I started hyperventilating and I fell out of my desk. I felt something warm and wet run down the side of my head before I fainted.

* * *

AN: tehe cliff hanger. Anyways. I hope you enjoyed it. feel free to leave me TOUGH CRITICISM! I can take it I swear. Maybe just a few tears ;) just kidding. well. I don't know how long this story will be. I hope I can stick too it. After this I know I want to do a Auslly Christmas story. I will give more details next time, but I know right now it wont be that long, but it will be more than a one shot.

Good bye my dear friends I must depart. Im laughing because that sounded smart like and I'm 13.

Don't forget to review! Criticism. Praise. and how you feel about the Christmas story. Anything. Question: Whats your favorite holiday? Mine is Christmas haha.

Toodles.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Hello people I am back. I just really wanted to update this story (: I hope you don't mind haha. Well, I got like thirty more views! I only have three reviews though :( but thanks to who did and one in particular but I don't remember your name by heart like staying strong 2007-2013 (: yeah you reviewed TWICE! And favorited and followed me and the story so thank you (: anyways, on to the story children.  
_

It's dark. Everywhere. Am I dead? No, I can't be. All I did was fall out of my seat.  
Not that anybody would care. Well, my mom would, and Elliot.

It felt really peaceful where I was right now. I don't think I ever want to leave. I found myself walking around the peaceful, but dark environment. I stop dead in my tracks when I see a person walking towards me.

My dad. I ran in the other direction, but he caught up with me. He grabbed my hair and yanked hard. I felt the blood trickle down my face. I knew this wasn't really happening, but it felt so, real.  
"DADDY! Stop, please." I pleaded.

"No Allyson! If can't stop! It's all your fault! It's your fault your mom is in Africa! She left because of you. Y-O-U" he spelt out.

I crawled into a ball on the dark floor. It was still full of darkness. All I could see was me and my father. I covered my head with my hands, preparing to take another hit, but it never came. I uncovered my head and saw my dad with hit hands uplifted, ready to hit, but there was someone else there. A tall, muscular boy. I couldn't see his face, but I knew he couldn't be much older than me.

"Thank you," I whispered.

He simply nodded in response.

"Who are you?" I questioned.

He opened his mouth, as if he was going to answer me, but he started fading away. I reached out, but I couldn't grab him. My hand went right through him, and he shook his head disappointedly.

It's like an invisible person was pulling me back from him. As much as I tried to resists I couldn't get to him. I let my body slump as I flew backwards away from him.  
I sighed. Because I think I might have just found my light switch and now he's gone.

It was really bright in this new place. I don't know if I liked it. It wasn't peaceful, and my head hurt like a bitch.  
I immediately knew where I was. The nurses office. The only thing I don't know is how I got here. Maybe Elliot carried me here. Whatever. I sat up and the door opened abruptly, making me jump.

"Miss Dawson! Good you're awake!" Miss. Pomfrey said. (AN: sound familiar lolol)  
I nodded, not saying anything.

"You received a slight injury in your head and I gave you some Tylenol so you should be okay on pain."

"Thank you very much, Miss Pomfrey."

"It's okay dear." She said with a smile, "by the way there's a handsome boy waiting for you outside of the door. You can go see him whenever you feel okay to get up."

I nodded in response. I swung my legs over the side of the bed I was laying on and grabbed my noon belonging, then headed outside of the door to Elliot.

I didn't look to see who was waiting for me, all I did was run and give Elliot a hug.  
It didn't feel Elliot. It gave me a tingly sensation in my spine and he was taller than Elliot. I looked up and lost all the words I was planning on saying when I saw who it was.

Austin Moon.

This can't be happening. I hugged Austin Moon. I let go quickly and ran back into the room I was in previously

I lay down on the bed and buried my head into the pillow, letting out a frustrated but  
quiet scream. I probably ruined my whole high school experience.

"Ally, please come out," I heard Austin say.

"No," I managed to speak out

"I swear to God, Ally, if you don't come out here I will bust into that room."

I got up off the bed and left the room.

"Yes?" I asked Austin.

"Miss. Parker wanted me to see if you were okay."

"Yeah, I'm fine I guess. My head just hurts," I said slightly disappointed he only checked on me because of Miss. Parker.

"Good." He said with a slight smile on his face.

Awkward silence came over us and it was so uncomfortable I said the first thing that came to mind, "I'm sorry I hugged you, I thought you were my brother."

His face immediately hardened and the smile left his face when he said, "Whatever loser, just don't touch me again."

Okay, that stung.

-  
After finished up at the nurses office, I went to my fifth period. I guess I was passed out for four hours? I don't know. Anyways, I sat down in my usual seat, the one in the corner.

I zoned out for most of the class until somebody tapped on my shoulder. I turned around and it was a quiet blonde girl, that doesn't usually bully me. She handed me a note and I swear I saw her mouth 'sorry' before I turned around.

I unfolded the neatly folder note and I saw the familiar pretty, cursive handwriting I see everyday on notes.

Dear Ally,  
Your a loser. Nobody likes you. Not even your mom. She probably went to Africa to get away from you. Elliot probably doesn't like you either. Your just his charity case.  
Do me and everybody else a favor and kill yourself bitch,okay?  
Lots of hate,  
Cassidy.

By the time I finished reading the note, I had silent tears running down my face. Everything in it is true. EVERY thing. I quickly got out a pen and scribbled these words on it.

Dear Cassidy,  
You're right. One hundred percent correct. Does that mean you get an award? No. You just get the enjoyment of seeing me cry. Breakdown. Do you not know that I cry myself to sleep every night? No,you wouldn't know that. And you wouldn't care. And about the killing yourself part? Don't worry, I'm just might.  
And by the way, you're* and you're*. Your shows possession. You're is the contraction of you are. But you didn't know that.  
Hate,  
"Loser" and "Bitch"

The bell rang when I finished writing the note, but I decided against giving it to her. Too much drama.

I slipped the note into my back pocket and went to my locker.

Third person POV:

Ally didn't realize that, the note she meant to put in her pocket had fallen out.

Right after Ally left, there was a tall boy that sat in the back of the class. He had fallen asleep,so he was the last to leave.

He walked in between the desks and stopped dead in his tracks when he as the small piece of paper on the floor?

"Are you okay young man?" The teacher asked him.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just gotta tie my shoe."

"Well, hurry up, you don't want to be late for class."

He did bend down to tie his shoe, but what the teacher didn't know was, he picked up the piece of paper and slid it into his shoe when he wasn't looking.

It was the end of the day, and he had been itching to read the note that now, is in his pocket. He didn't know why. Just something about it intrigued him. He didn't dare read it in front of his "friends," they would have asked too many questions.

After picking up his brother and sisters he drove back too their "house."

"Hi, Miss Suzy." He said.

"Hello sweetie. How as school? Did you get in a fight? Fail a test?" She responded.

"No, no. I did good today. I swear."

"Good, because you don't want to be a bad example to any of the other children here."

"Would I ever?" I asked, while gripping my heart in mock offense.

Miss Suzy simply gave me a look that said, "Yes, you would," and walked away to tend to a crying child.

I walked up the stairs to my room, which I shared with Ethan, another boy here my age.  
Ethan wasn't there at the moment, so I took off my shoes, grabbed the note, and jumped on my bed too read it.

I unfolded the note carefully, and started redwing it.

I stopped after the second sentence. I was shocked to say the least. I can't believe it. Ally. And Cassidy. I thought Cassidy was nice? But I guess she's just a bitch.  
Oh god.  
I hate myself. I ruin her life and she gets enough already from Cassidy! She cries herself to sleep because of me! I have to stop.

I continued to read the note.

I'm such an ASSHOLE! How could I? I can't. I have to apologize. I have to. I can't continue to do this to her.

I stood up off my bed and took a shower. After my shower, I laid in my bed to sleep. It was only six, but I have to get up early for work.

While laying in my bed, there was one thing that stood out from the note to me,  
"And about the killing yourself part? Don't worry, I just might."

Tomorrow, I have to make everything better. She can't kill herself.

AN:  
Ooh who is the 3rd person? You probably know already.  
I'm sorry it's so short (: I just really wanted to update haha. Wellllll do you guys know when you listen to music and you're just like "this so song would go perfect with my story" well that's me right now lol.  
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter guys. Tell me if you did or not! Don't forget to review please haha (: I'm begging you. Just kidding but really.  
And about that AN in the chapter, if you didn't know Miss Pomfrey comes From Madame Pomfrey in Harry Potter.  
Well good bye little mocking jays.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: hello buddies. I know I just uploaded a chapter, but I really wanted to update. I really enjoy this chapter. K enjoy (:

3rd person POV:

-beep beep beep-

Ugh. I fucking hate morning. They suck. I crawled out of my bed and into the bathroom to get ready. I stared at myself in the mirror.

"You have to say you're sorry to her today. Be nice to Ally. You don't even know why you did that to her. She's nice and pretty and you ruined her life." Is said to myself.

Wait... Did I just call her pretty...? I can't fool myself. She is pretty. Gorgeous even. After I got dressed and did my hair just the way I like it, I went to work.  
After work, I went straight to school.

I ignored all the people staring at me. I didn't stop to talk to my friends.i went straight to her.

"We need to talk." I said

"Austin?" Ally said.

Ally POV:

I was just at my locker, minding my own business when the last person I wanted to talk to, came up to me.

"We need to talk." Austin said.

"Austin?" I said, "Why do you want to talk to me?"

"Just, please."

"Fine," I said, as Austin dragged me into the janitors closet.

"What do you want?" I snapped.

"I want you to hear me out."

"Fine, get it over with. I can't be late for first period."

"I'm sorry."

"What... Pardon me?"

"I said I'm sorry. For everything. I'm sorry I bullied you.. I found this," he said while handing her the note, "and I know it's my fault. I'm sorry. So, so sorry."

"I guess I forgive you, but I don't trust you." Ally said as she left the room, leaving a dumbfounded Austin behind her.

-  
AUSTIN POV

Austin walked to first period and sat a couple seats behind Ally.

English. Ew. I hate this class. Why do I have to learn English? Hello, I speak it! I laid my head down and took a nap.

She's beautiful. The girl in my dream is beautiful. I can't see her. I can't see her face or her body, she's just beautiful. She's wearing a long pink dress and she shines like the stars in the night sky. There's something about her. She looks lost. She looks very, very sad. She reaches out to me and grabs my hand, but my hand goes right through hers. She begins to run. Why is she running?

"Wait! Please! Stop running!"

"Don't you understand, Austin?" She began, "We can never be together!"

"Why?"

"He'll kill you!"

"Who's he?"

"I can't tell you!"

"Why can't you? Please, let me help you!" We were both screaming now.

"No. Austin, I can't lose you. You're my everything." She said much quieter this time.

I took her hand, but it just went through mine for the second time today.

"Why does that happen?"

"It's because there's something keeping me from you."

"What is it?"

"I don't know."

We begin to walk next to each other.

"It's beautiful here." She says.

She's right. I didn't notice but it is very pretty here. The sun is shining, but it's not hot. There a cold feeling to this place though. There are flowers, but they're dark and dreary. There are birds singing, but they are singing a sad song. It's raining around us, but not above us. I think it's her. If she wasn't here, I wouldn't think it was as beautiful as I do now. She makes everything beautiful. Her laugh. Her smile. Her beautiful hair. everything about her is perfect.

"It's kind of sad, though." She said.

I chuckled, "Yeah it is, but you make it beautiful."

She blushes. She's pretty when she blushes. We walk over to a bench and a tiny bird walks over to us. The girl, being the amazing person she is, picks it up. The tiny bird grows as soon as she touches it. It was frail and small, and not its strong and big. The sad song it once sang turned itself into a beautiful sound. She set the now healthy bird onto the ground and it walked away. The bird now had the same glow that she had. Everything it touched turned beautiful.

"Silly creatures birds." She said.

"Yeah." I began, "It's like I can see you, but I can't really see you. Why is that?"

"It's because I'm not showing myself to you. When you gain my trust, then you will be able to see me."

"You're still beautiful. Something about you. The atmosphere around you is amazing. You're what's keeping the rain off us!"

"Really? Because to me, you're keeping the rain off us. You're practically glowing with confidence, Austin! Don't you see?"

"Pft, I beg to differ," I say playfully.

"I don't understand, Austin."

"What don't you understand?" I questioned.

"Why do you want me? Me boring old," She said her name. I can't tell what she said. I could see her lips moving, but it's like someone turned her volume off so I couldn't hear her name. "I don't deserve you."

"You've got it all wrong. You're too good for me. You're perfect. An angel. You make my day brighter. I can't imagine not having you here with me, girlfriend or best friend."

She smiled. Her smile is beautiful. It's a timid,weak smile, though. Like she hadn't smiled for ages.

"You should do that more often."

"Do what?"

"Smile." I said. "It's beautiful."

"Thank you." She said. She smiled for half a second, then her smile turned I to a look of horror. She got behind me. I turned around and saw a figure. I can't see its face either. I don't have her trust to see who it is. It's a human. I know that.

She got dragged away from me. It was like the figure had half of a magnet and she was the other half. I couldn't grab her. I couldn't save her. The figure hit her. She fell to the ground. The figure continued to beat her, until it faded into nothingness.

"!" I said her name, but I couldn't hear it either. I felt my lips move.

"Austin," she said weakly.

I ran over to her.

"It'll be okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Why don't you look me in the eyes?" I asked.

She looked at me. Not my eyes. My face.

"Because, eye contact is a dangerous, dangerous, thing."

"You don't understand, it might be that, but it is also lovely, oh so lovely!"

She smiled that beautiful smile of hers. She lifted her head up, about to look me in the eyes, when her eyes drifted closed.

"NO! Wake up! Please! Don't leave me, I need you!" After my last word I was getting pulled away from her. It was a weird feeling. It felt like I was being sucked up into a vacuum. The place I was in started to get dark again now that she was gone. It was raining harder now, and I was getting soaked now that she was gone. I quit resisting the force pulling me and I drifted my eyes closed.

The next time I opened my eyes I wasn't in the place. I was back in English class. It doesn't seem like the time has changed much since I fell asleep. The next thing I knew, the bell rang. Huh, I guess it has changed?

I look at the time and it's 11:45. What? How did I sleep that long? How did I change from class to class? Was I really asleep? What is wrong with me? That mystery girl does strange things to me. I stand up and walk to lunch. I have to find out who that girl is.

-  
Ally POV:

That was the strangest dream I have ever had. How could her not tell who I was? I couldn't see him. He was blurry I guess. I couldn't hear his name either. As soon as I woke up during class I was confused about what time it was. I checked my watch and it was 11:45. I don't understand, how did that happen? How did I sleep that long? How did I get too my classes? Was I really asleep?that boy does strange things to me. I stand up and walk to lunch. I have to find out who that guy was.

AN: This chapter was my favorite one to write of them all. I really like the dream thingy. Well anyways that thing that's like "eye contact is a very dangerous thing but lovely oh so lovely" I got that from tumblr. Some picture. I don't know. I liked it. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed. DONT FORGET TO REVIEW.


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